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International Women’s Day 2018

By Abbey Krause, Senior Personal Advisor/Mediator

mum and Abbey

For International Women’s Day 2018 we’re celebrating an amazing woman and colleague Abbey Krause, mediator, mentor and (new) Mum! Abbey has worked with us to develop our SCCR digital resources #MonkeyVsLizard and #KeepTheHeid and continues to be an inspiration to women everywhere in her role as Cyrenians’ Senior Mediator.

Abbey in her own words:

“I am an only child and as many children do I grew up watching how my parents interacted and managed their relationship. My parents never hid conflict from me and if there was stuff that needed to be worked out it happened …. and I watched and I learned.

“I remember thinking “if only you had said that differently” or “if only you had heard that differently” the outcome of that argument might have been really different too. But we all know how challenging it is to stop, take a breath before we talk and listen to what the other person is saying.

“Growing up I realised that if people understand each other better they seemed to give each other a break and when your relationships get better life seems to get better too. In my experience, people don’t do things or say things for no reason. There is always a reason and if we ask questions we can find out more and hopefully understand. Understanding strengthens relationships but it doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree with each other.

“Why people do what they do fascinates me. So I watched and I learned …… and then I read and I studied and I practiced … and I practiced even more. My journey as a mediator had begun and it will continue for as long as I am open to learning because there is always more to learn!

“I learned that people have very different experiences and perspectives of a situation. I learnt that the words we choose to use and our facial expressions are fundamental to calming the storm or adding fuel to the fire. I learnt that being honest with each other is hard and being honest with yourself is even harder. But if there is real hope and a desire to make things better people can and do work it out.

“I believe that we all have the resources to change our situation for the better. We may need a bit of help and that’s ok. For the families I have had the privilege of working with, I have the deepest respect. Taking part in mediation is not easy and I really admire how people are willing to give it a go and think about how things could be different.”

All relationships can get in a tangle from time to time. If you’re a young person or parent/carer experiencing conflict at home, we’re here to help.

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