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Life can be a bit like a circus - you never know what's around the corner and it can take its toll, especially on relationships. They can feel like a bit of a balancing act ...and no one wants to fall off the tightrope.

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Our brain plays a vital role in whether we have an automatic reaction or are able to manage our response to a difficult situation.

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Seeing things differently

Strong emotions especially anger can take hold of us. Ever looked in the mirror and not recognised the person staring back? Anger is often the reaction covering up other emotions – feeling unheard, lonely, sad, unloved …

It can take us anywhere between 20-30 minutes to bring ourselves back and begin to use our thinking brain again.

People see and understand things differently - everyone is unique but we’re all in this together. Try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes …. the view could be quite different!

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So why do some things make us 'blow our top' and 'flip our lid'?

Spiraling out of control?

We often second - guess each other but there is always another side to things. Take the time to really listen, you might hear something new!

It’s easy for things to spiral out of control. Talk and help each other understand.

When the bomb goes off ask yourself what’s more important: being “right” or “rescuing the relationship”?

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Dr. Dan Siegel - The science of

“Flipping Your Lid”

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Pre-frontal Cortex

The Thinking Brain processes perceptions and logical reasoning.

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Brain Stem and Limbic Area

The Emotional Brain controls your emotions.

The Thinking Brain


The Emotional Brain

When someone “pushes our buttons” the connections between the Thinking Brain and The Emotional Brain start to go. If they can become completely disconnect it’s like we “flip our lids”.

If we “flip our lids” we are no longer responding in a controlled way - we have lost the connection to the “thinking” part of our brain. This can make communication tricky!

All is not lost!

You can tame that beast!

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Give yourself some space, go for a walk, try to identify your triggers and breathe!

Most importantly give yourself a break and be kind to yourself … You’re only human!

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