My Conflict Resolution No. 3: Remember to remember your happy memories!



Practice makes perfect

You may have spent two days smiling and a whole day moving your body to change your affect and if you’ve not noticed a discernible change in your mood or relationships fear not!

One of the keys to accessing our brain and body connection and making positive changes is simply – repetition.

Dr Sara Watkin says, “Learning is all about making and remembering positive memories. The more you repeat doing something, the more memories you make and the better you can recall those memories when you need them.

“The strength of the brain and body connection is the basis for learning and ultimately for human intelligence. Whether you’re learning to play a musical instrument, driving a car or using a computer keyboard, emotion and memory play a key part in the interaction between your brain and your body to enable you to learn.

“The neurotransmitters in the brain work together to create the conditions of relaxation and alertness which allows us to respond, remember and repeat any physical activity until we don’t even notice we’re doing it – so it becomes ‘second nature’.”

You learned years ago how to tie your shoe laces but if you suddenly had to explain to someone exactly the process for how to do this you’d have to stop and really think about it!

Musicians, dancers and actors know the power of repetition in learning music, choreography and their lines until it becomes second nature.

“In cases of stage fright you are actually not afraid – you’re too stressed to access any positive memories at all – possibly also because your ability to make (positive) memories has not been well-exercised and so there is a “weak muscle” in the brain-body connection when it comes to remembering positive experiences. The very act of forgetting how to remember is what makes stage fright so complete and paralysing – far from simply fearing having a bad experience, you can forget your lines or how to play the instrument”

The good news is that accessing positive memories helps to return to a place of calm where you are able to react and respond in a positive way, remember where you left your car keys or what you came into the room for in the first place.

So your third New Year ‘Conflict’ Resolution is – practice accessing positive memories; they make you smile, sit and stand up taller and make you much more capable of responding positively in any relationship. So if you forget to smile or move yourself into a good mood – remember to remember your happy memories!

More New Year’s ‘Conflict’ Resolutions on Monday…


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