Developmental Language Disorder (DLD) and Family Conflict

What is DLD?

DLD is a condition that impacts talking, listening, and understanding. It has lifelong effects on learning, friendships, and overall well-being. Recognizing and addressing DLD early is crucial for providing the right support.

DLD and Family Conflict

Understanding DLD is crucial in the context of resolving family conflicts for several reasons:

1. Improved Communication

DLD affects a child's ability to understand and use language effectively. When family members recognize that a child’s behaviour or responses are influenced by language difficulties, they can adjust their communication strategies. This might include using simpler language, visual aids, or allowing more time for the child to process and respond. Improved communication can reduce misunderstandings and frustration on both sides.

2. Reduced Misinterpretation of Behaviour

Children with DLD may exhibit behaviours that are misinterpreted as defiance, laziness, or a lack of interest. For example, a child might not follow instructions because they didn’t understand them, not because they are being disobedient. Often the processing demands can lead to a young person feeling overwhelmed, so that they might appear to disengage or ‘switch off’. Seeing this as a sign to reduce language (theirs and yours) or give more processing time can very effective. Understanding DLD helps family members see these behaviours as symptoms of a language disorder rather than intentional actions, leading to more empathetic and supportive responses.

3. Enhanced Emotional Wellbeing

Family conflicts often arise from stress and frustration. When parents and siblings understand that a child’s difficulties are due to DLD, they are more likely to approach situations with patience and support. This can reduce the emotional strain on the child and the family, fostering a more positive and nurturing home environment. Supports such as visuals and regulation tools can be used and modelled by everyone in the family, and benefit everybody too.

4. Effective Conflict Resolution Strategies

Knowing about DLD allows families to implement strategies that can prevent or de-escalate conflicts. For example, using visual schedules, clear and consistent routines, and breaking down complex instructions can help the child understand expectations and reduce anxiety. These strategies can make daily interactions smoother and less contentious. There’s a strong familial link, so there may be other members of the family (siblings/parents/grandparents) that have language difficulties too (likely unidentified.) This could be impacting on communication and conflict resolution, so embedding strategies universally can support the wider family.

5. Supporting the Child’s Development

The identification and understanding of language difficulties is key. Speech and Language Therapy (SLT) assessment can be helpful here and may help to develop a profile outlining supports – although the most effective support is ensuring the young person and those around them understand what works for them (rather than SLT ‘interventions’ improving skills).

6. Promoting Inclusivity and Understanding

When all family members understand DLD, they can work together to create an inclusive environment where the child feels valued and supported. This collective understanding can strengthen family bonds and reduce the likelihood of conflicts arising from miscommunication or unmet expectations.

Conclusion

Understanding DLD is essential for resolving family conflicts because it provides a framework for interpreting and addressing the unique challenges faced by children with language difficulties. By fostering effective communication, empathy, and supportive strategies, families can create a more harmonious and understanding home environment. This not only benefits the child with DLD but also enhances the overall wellbeing of the entire family.

This blog is indebted to (pictured above) Fiona Petrie's talk as part of SCCR's 2025 online conference. Video from the talk will soon appear on SCCR's website.